Today I remember that kid who fought for the center of attention on the schoolyard or in the classroom. He seemed to find a way to get everyone's attention. He would dress outrageously, make attention-seeking noises, get into just enough trouble to hold the teacher's attention, or talk too loudly. He would create a whirlwind of drama around himself to get everyone talking. Later on, he drove the most expensive car, or the "baddest" hotrod, etc. He hooked up with the trophy date and made sure to parade her around the school. He bragged about being the best and brightest. His achievements were always a bit more important than anyone else's. Yep, that kid learned how to capture and hold the focus on himself so that he could never be forgotten or left behind. He needed to be the center of attention, ALWAYS!
To be fair, not everyone who was the center of attention needed or even wanted to be there. Some were embarrassed to be the topic in the schoolyard chatter. For others, the spotlight seemed to seek them out, and they enjoyed their moment of "fame." However, they enjoyed slipping back into anonymity when their time passed. I am not talking about these folks. The attention seekers are not to be confused with those who naturally gravitate to the spotlight.
I am talking those who either believe they deserve the spotlight or crave it so much they find a way to claim it for themselves. Generally, these kids reveal their need for the class's attention in two ways. First, they cannot share the spotlight with anyone else. Second, they cannot give up the spotlight once they get it.
Today, as we prepare to vote in 35 days, I invite you to consider the UnCommon Decency of someone who can enjoy the spotlight when it finds them, sharing it when appropriate, and then moving on when it shines on someone else. I am also asking you to think about the Common InDecency of someone who seeks and holds the attention on only himself, at all costs. The former is an Inspirational Center while the latter is a Demagogue.
Over the last five years, we have become all too familiar with a Demagogue. This word grew out of a Greek word that described one who leads the common people. It did not have any negative meaning unless you were an elitist who viewed common folks with disdain. But in the last few hundred years, the word has acquired a new and darker meaning. It now refers to someone who appeals to people through their prejudices by making false claims and promises to gain power. The Demagogue demands and holds his target audience's attention with loud, abusive, untruthful appeals to their racism and fears. The Demagogue needs the center of attention to fulfill their lust for power over others. One straightforward way to identify a Demagogue is by their deep jealousy of an inspirational leader. The Demagogue wants to erase the Inspirational Leader's legacy and tear them down with every opportunity. The Demagogue cannot and will not share the limelight with anyone, especially a rival for the spotlight.
How does the Demagogue get and hold the focus of a nation?
They employ outrageous words or actions. The Demagogue knows the words they are speaking are untrue or misleading. But they are not seeking to share the truth. All they want are the headlines and daily chatter to focus on them. The actions do not serve the public good or change something for the better. The Demagogue likely knows, on some level, that what they are doing is not helpful. It may even be ultimately destructive. But once again, they are not seeking to build up. All they want are the daily headlines and coffee shop chatter to be all about them.
Once they get their target group's attention, they hold that attention by provoking and invoking fear or shame or some other powerful negative emotion. They generally will identify a cadre of "enemies of the people" who want to destroy the American way of life. The Demagogue seeks to shame those who do not fall in line with name-calling and accusations of disloyalty and betrayal of ideas like patriotism and piety. They must be relentless in their allegations and threats to hold the headlines and twitter feeds. The Demagogue does not care about the truth or validity of any of this. They may even discount all news as "fake news" to discredit those who would try and steal the light of public discourse from them.
The ultimate Attention Seeker is the Demagogue who can capture the attention of a nation and a good part of the world with his lies, rhetoric, outrageous dress, and a constant barrage of media fodder. And, as long as we pay attention, the schoolyard attention seeker will continue his Common InDecency.
So, how can we deal with the Demagogue? We need to start committing and rewarding UnCommon Decency.
UnCommon Decency begins with turn our backs on the schoolyard Demagogue and focuses our attention on the inspirational leaders among us. The Demagogue will prevent this from happening. But it is possible!
Our attention is an act of our will. It is not under anyone else's control. They may influence our attention, but we have the choice of where we look and what we hear. Take charge of your focus. Turn off the sources that the Demagogue uses to speak to his victims. Instead, listen for those voices of reason and let your mind and heart gravitate to them. Unfortunately, the more the Demagogue discovers that people are tuning them out, the louder and more outrageous he will become. But he still cannot control where you focus your mind and soul. Make your choices out of others' inspiration rather than the fears and worries that are invoked by the message and actions of the Demagogue.
Turning from the Demagogue will require that we get a grip on our fears so that we can look and listen elsewhere. The old counseling technique of "name it" and "claim it" can be very helpful. Do not hide behind the false claim that you are not afraid. Name your fears. Claim them as real and then muster the courage to move on anyway. Fear is a companion in everyone's life. The mark of growing us is how effectively we respond to our fears. If we allow them to control us, the fearful will be forever caught in the flock of sheep. But if we identify and claim our fears, we can set them aside and do what needs to be done for ourselves and others. This is the essence of courage. And the Common InDecency of the Demagogue demands a high level of the UnCommon Decency of Courage to move on.
There is a wonderful side effect of changing the focus of your attention away from the Demagogue. The UnCommon Decency of courage steals your light from the Demagogue and shines it elsewhere, making it easier for others to follow suit. The more people turn who turn to inspirational leaders will raise that leader's credibility and validity. Yes, this will provoke the Demagogue. Yes, a wounded and desperate animal is a dangerous creature. But we cannot keep feeding it so that it will not eat us. Instead, we need to focus our attention on an inspirational "dragonslayer" who will help us deal with the Demagogue and move forward. Courage is contagious. We need to share it.
Engage in the UnCommon Decency to look away from those who crave and seek the limelight. Instead, focus on those upon whom that light naturally falls. Let your hopes and dreams capture your attention and help you focus your energies as you seek out inspirational people to hold your spotlight. Encourage those around you to move beyond their fears. Help them see that naming and claiming our fears is not an admission of failure but the path to freedom from the Demagogues threats and lies. Help them to shift their light onto the Inspirational Leaders as well.
How did the teacher handle that attention seeker in elementary school? She ignored him until he threw his temper tantrum disrupted the class. Then she sent him to the Principal's office for discipline. Life will discipline the Demagogue. Life finds a way. Our job is not to feed him with our attention or our votes and get on with growing into the nation we seek to be.
Bob
No comments:
Post a Comment